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Body Image Consciousness
Q.
My friend has some sort of body image disorder. She really isn't fat, but her body's not perfect. She's 5'4" and a healthy 125 to 135 pounds. She will not shower with the lights on. She thinks she is grotesquely overweight and she completely spazzes out when she catches someone looking at her.
She is 19 and feels bad for someone that shows interest in her, because she thinks that they pity her. She can't go shopping for pants and she won't go into dressing rooms with mirrors.
It's getting really bad now, and she won't listen to me or anyone when we tell her that she's not fat. It's getting unhealthy and
crazy. What is wrong with her? Is she seeing things?
A.
Your friend may well have a psychiatric disorder related to body image,
though, in some ways, it sounds like an extreme form of a problem common to
many women in this country--namely, the fear of being fat.
As you probably
know, our American culture over the past 30 years or so has stressed the
importance of being thin, along the lines of the fashion models we see on
TV. This has contributed to an epidemic of
body-image problems among young women. Many of these individuals simply
feel bad about their body image, even when they are barely over their
ideal body weight. Some will go on to develop frank eating disorders, such
as bulimia nervosa or anorexia nervosa.
Reassuring individuals with these
disorders that they are not fat rarely does any good, as you have
discovered. I can't say what is wrong with your
friend, but a distorted body image is part of these eating disorders.
Ideally, I would encourage your friend to get some professional
counseling--but this will not be easy! She may become angry, defensive, and
insist that you don't understand. She may even withdraw from you. So, it's
important to present this in an empathic, non-judgmental way. You might say,
for example, "You know, I've been really concerned about you lately. I hate
to see you so anxious about how you look, since I really care about
you. Is there anything I can do to help?" If your friend opens up to you a
bit, you might then be able to suggest some counseling. If not, you might
consider getting her The Body Image Workbook: An 8-Step Program for Learning
to Like Your Looks
by Thomas F. Cash, Ph.D. Good luck with your very caring efforts!
Other Resources:
July 2003
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